Listening Well – January 2017

With all the divisive and negative talk within our nation, it is critical that we learn how to listen well. People feel most loved when they are deeply listened to by another. Here are some simple listening skills that you can do today to strengthen your relationships:

  • Get with another person and answer the question: What is the biggest thing impacting you right now (good or bad)? How are you feeling about it?
  • As the Speaker, remember to:
    • Speak in the “I.”
      • “I miss being with you and I feel lonely.” Vs. “You are never available to me.”
    • Keep your statements brief. Watching the rambling.
    • Stop to let the listener paraphrase.
    • Include your feelings
    • Remember to be honest, clear and respectful.
  • As the listener, remember to:
    • Give the speaker your full attention. Don’t think about your rebuttal.
    • Step into the speaker’s shoes – feel what he/she is feeling.
    • Avoid judging or interpreting.
    • Reflect back as accurately as you can what you heard the speaker say.
    • When you think he/she is done, ask, “Is there more?”
    • When the speaker is done, ask, “Of everything you have shared, what is the most important thing you want me to remember?”
  • Switch roles
  • Share your experience with one another by using the following sentence stems:
    • Most helpful from the listener was…
    • What I would have liked more from the listener was…