We all lose stuff. A few losses are good – weight, awful boyfriend/girlfriend – but most are bad. How does it feel losing your car keys?
- You feel discombobulated – all these questions, constantly searching, false hope, and desperation.
- You have a range of emotions are most aren’t good – mad, frustrated, restless, cry, shameful, foolish and you might even feel sick or get a migraine, lack of energy and focus, depressed, optimism, and false hope.
- You start projecting – on yourself, on others, about someone stealing them, about the future.
- After a while you are settled with it. You buy new keys and then you make adjustments concerning where to put your keys in the future.
Everybody goes through loss:
- Death of a friend or family member or pet.
- Loss of a relationship – marriage, friendship, job partnership, kids leaving the home, moving to different community, watching loved one lose their memory.
- Loss of dream, opportunity, ability, health, trust.
- Loss of status – graduating from high school and entering college, graduating college and starting work life, not getting a promotion, bad financial choices, job, retirement.
- Loss of both freedom when you have children and independence with marriage or health issues.
Whenever you lose something significant, you go through the same experiences as when you lose your keys. The big difference is that you have to move ahead with getting new keys, but most loss cannot be pushed through with grit. You are like a jellyfish. You float with the current around you; you cannot force your way through it.
Eventually, if you handle the loss in a healthy way, you will make the adjustments to your new normal. Depending on the loss, the adjustment may take weeks or years, so during this time, be aware and show grace to yourself as well as others who are experiencing loss.